Writing Diaries: Chapter Two

A very big decision in my writing career

When you begin the pursuit of creative endeavors, there is always some sort of payoff. No, money doesn’t always begin rolling in at the beginning. But you feel satisfied. You feel like you’re on the right path. It gives you inner contentment that you’re doing what you love, whether it brings you money or not.

But there is never anything wrong with wanting to divert to a new path or pursue something different for the creative career you’re on.

Lessons are learned regardless of how you begin. And a journey is best lived when you get to make different choices and even circle back to try a different answer to choices you were faced with before.

This is the start of me circling back to the moment that I had two options: Self-Publish or Pursue Traditional Publishing.

I’ve come to a decision that is definitely not something twenty-year-old me would have seen coming. But possibly, deep down, she was also wishing for this, too.

I’ve decided to pursue traditional publishing with my future writing. This is a big step for me, but it’s one I find myself on the path of.

I have loved the journey of self-publishing. I loved the technical aspects of publishing. From metadata to formatting (actually metadata is not fun, but we’ll pretend for a moment), I have enjoyed learning the details of what it takes to get a book to the world. I’ve spend money, time, effort, and my entire heart to publish four books.

And if I’m entirely honest, the results of that are disappointing for someone who has put a lot of herself into those books.

This isn’t me trying to beg for sympathy. I would do this all over again in a heartbeat to learn the lessons I’ve made along the way.

But I want more from this pursuit. Not more money or more attention. That’s never been my end goal. I want to not have to do pretty much everything alone anymore.

Yes, there are people I’ve hired and friends I’ve made along the way. People I am grateful for. Every cover designer I’ve had the honor of working with, my editor, Jen, for always being a good cheerleader, and other artists I’ve contacted, other authors I’ve connected with.

I will always love this side of publishing.

But I just find that the concepts of self-publishing have put me in a rut this time. I can’t turn off the editor/formatter/publisher brain when writing. And that’s not really what writing should be about.

I want to write. I want to focus on the part that makes me who I am.

I don’t want to wear all the hats anymore.

And there isn’t anything wrong with that.

At some point in time, I was a bit of a snob. I felt self-publishing was the correct way. I thought that it would eventually overtake traditional publishing. But right now, there is a lot of fast publishing happening. And yes this is happening in both avenues. But self-publishing has created this problem, in my opinion.

We have people pushing books out that aren’t written well, but because they contain so much smut, they sell. And that then becomes something that authors of either publishing route have pressure to keep up with.

But we’re seeing a rise in the rejection of the booktokification or tropeification of books. And I’m here for it.

So, yes, I’m still proud of the books I’ve published on my own. They are my heart and soul and if you ever want to read them, you can.

But this is a new era. A time for me to begin anew and start over.

Hi.

I’m Brooke.

I’m a writer.

I write books that go beyond tropes. They don’t please the BookTok masses. They aren’t algorithm friendly. They’re deep and complex, with human characters that make mistakes. I don’t write spice just to write spice, but I write realistically which means I’m never shutting anything out for the future.

Going forward, I will be pursuing the traditional route.

This doesn’t mean I am closed off to going back to self-publishing. I don’t agree with the mindset that if a book isn’t accepted in traditional publishing it means it shouldn’t be published. Because literally sometimes you just don’t find the right agent or editor. Unless you pitch to every agent and editor in the world and they all say no, every carefully crafted book does hold potential. Self-publishing, when done the right way, is hardly the easy way out. I’ve put thousands of dollars into it. By choice.

But I want to try other means. I want to learn new things. I want to focus on being a writer and an author, not everything else.

So, this is my journey now.

I’m writing a book and hopefully someday soon, I’ll be entering the query trenches.

Hopefully sooner, I’ll be able to share more about the book I’m working on.

But for now, just know that I will document my journey along the way as I begin this new path.

Never be afraid to circle back sometimes and try a different route if the path you’re on isn’t working. Don’t be scared to start over just because you think you should be somewhere else already. We all have our own timelines, so don’t compare your journey to someone else’s.

Until next time,